Finding Joy in Simple Living
Why are so many people struggling with their mental health? What can we do as a society to live happier, healthier lives? What does it mean to “live simply?”
Modern life has us chasing our tails 24/7. Society’s paradigm of a full and happy life tells us we should be rising early to get a workout in before heading to the office, put in a full day’s work, catch up with a friend over lunch and spend quality time with family in the evening. All while keeping up with the worldwide current affairs, reading news from our nearest and dearest, and posting some updates of our own on social media. We should also jet off to an exotic destination a couple of times each year for a holiday, and make sure to upgrade all our devices on an annual basis.
We are constantly being bombarded with marketing, telling us we need to buy more. We are constantly being told that we are not enough, we have not achieved enough, unless we can make these bigger and bigger purchases. So we need to work harder, put in more hours, to earn the money to buy all these things. Does any of that really make us happy?
I don’t think it does.
First Steps
Today, my daughter took her first steps. She has been crawling and cruising around the furniture for months. She has managed a few shuffly steps, but seemed to lack the confidence to properly stride out by herself.
This morning, I set her on her feet in the middle the room and she started walking. My husband and I were both there to share this special moment with her. We were all so excited and fully present, experiencing it together.
I was filled with a rush of so many emotions. So much pride in my little one’s achievement. Excitement for the prospect of new adventures together. Fear that my little tornado will be tearing through the house at an even greater speed now. But mostly gratitude that the three of us were all together at that moment, making that core memory as a family. We were so lucky. We ARE so lucky.
It was only afterwards that I realised that we had not obtained any video footage or photographs of this milestone as it happened. Neither of us had even thought to pick up our phones to take a picture. And I was not upset about this at all.
I reflected on this precious memory later in the day. If we were a family driven by money, both George and I would have been hard at work this morning. We would have left our toddler in the care of somebody else. We would not have been present to witness those first big, confident steps.
If we lived less mindfully and intentionally, we could have been sat in front of the television or scrolling on our phones, rather than giving our full and undivided attention to our toddler. Again, we would have missed the big moment.
But, thankfully, the way we have chosen to live allowed us to be present, to experience all the emotions, to commit this special moment to memory.
There will be plenty more opportunities to take photos and videos of the little one walking, running and doing all sorts of things, I am sure.
Countless Special Moments
This story is just one example of a key moment in our lives. There are countless special moments each and every day for us to enjoy. All we have to do is be there for them.
Instead of chasing the next hit of dopamine through shopping, gaming or scrolling through social media, we just need to be present in the moment.
Instead of comparing ourselves to others around us, or what we think society expects of us, we just need to be grateful for who we are and what we already have.
Instead of experiencing your life through the 3 inch screen on your smart phone, constantly taking photographs and videos, look at the world around you through your own eyes.
We get precious little time on this Earth, such a short window of opportunity to enjoy all that is around us. We need to make sure we spend our time wisely.
What is Simple Living?
For me, there are many facets to living simply.
Firstly, it is important to critically consider what your goals are in life. What are you core values? What are the big ticket items that you wish to accomplish? Take time to deeply reflect on this.
Once you have a solid understanding of yourself and your goals, start living intentionally with your goals and values front and centre in your mind. Begin paring away anything that is unnecessary or that actively goes against what you want out of life.
You will soon realise that you can live very happily with a lot less. The dots begin to join up: if you reduce your outgoings, you do not need to sustain such a high level of income. If you spend fewer hours at work, you can spend more quality time with your family and friends, enjoying hobbies or other pursuits.
You will have even more time for these more fulfilling activities if you reduce the time you spend on social media or streaming digital content. And as an added bonus, you will be more present and able to enjoy special moments as they happen.
How often do you actually go back through your camera roll, looking at the seemingly endless stream of photos and videos? Would it not be better to have fewer, more meaningful photographs and videos? Would you be more present if you allowed yourself to enjoy experiences as they happen, rather than trying to document your entire life in photos as it unfolds?
Top Tips for Living a Simpler Life and Being Happier For It!
1) Only buy what you need – Be more intentional with your purchases. Ask yourself a few key questions before you buy anything. “Do I really need this?” “What value will this add to my life?” “Do I already own anything that serves the same purpose?” Stockpiling, mindless impulse buying, and purchasing “Just in case” items only clutters up your home with things that you do not need. This is a waste of time, space and money. If you can minimise your outgoings, you can work fewer hours and spend more of your time enjoying your life outside of work. Joining these dots was such a lightbulb moment for me.
2) Experiences over things – Once you have released yourself from materialistic values, it is hard to go back. Giving and receiving gifts can be difficult when material items no longer hold the same desirability. Instead, try giving the gift of time. Commit to spending some quality time with your loved ones, be fully present and share some special moments together. You could also make a joint donation to charity instead of giving each other a physical gift.
3) Be mindful – In all your endeavours. Take the time to notice all the little things. Pay attention to the birdsong on the morning dog walk. Savour the smell of your freshly brewed coffee. Appreciate the kindness of a fellow road user who allows you to switch lanes in the traffic jam. Finding these little moments of happiness throughout your day can be transformational for your mood and outlook on life.
4) Cut screentime – Have you ever tried to go without your phone for an hour or more? Did you find it challenging? Most people would. Screens are highly addictive; far more than most of us realise. They steal our focus and attention. They prevent us from fully engaging with the people and the world around us. Start with a strict ban at mealtimes and for at least an hour before bed. Instead, use that time to enjoy thoughtful conversation with your loved ones, or to pick up a book.
5) Slow down – You don’t have to rush around all day, every day. You don’t have to plan out every moment of every waking hour. Take some time to just be. Go out for a walk in nature. Read a book. Turn your hand to a mindful craft. And as you do so, feel the adrenaline leaving your body, slow your breathing, notice how the ground feels under your feet or the book feels in your hands.
6) “Enough” – Learn to recognise when enough is enough. This applies to all areas of your life. When you have enough possessions to meet your needs. When you have a large enough house. When you have enough qualifications. When you have filled your day with enough commitments. Release yourself from any obligation to buy more, do more, or have more just for the sake of it. Learn how to politely say “no” to anything more.
7) Detox from social media – It is well known that most people share only the very best aspects of their lives on social media, often with a filter applied. We know this, and yet we compare ourselves to the way others look, the things they own, their achievements and milestones. We also know that people can be cruel when they have a screen and keyboard to hide behind. All this makes for a toxic environment which can be highly detrimental to mental health. It can draw you into a spiral of despair which takes away the joy from real life. Even if you don’t want to come off Facebook or Instagram altogether for fear of being left behind by your friends, I would highly recommend deleting the apps for a few days at least once a month, to allow yourself a chance to reset and regain your perspective on how truly wonderful life can be.
8) Be present – There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a few photographs to remember special occasions. But all too often I see people watching real life through the 3 inch screen on their smart phone. People who have queued for hours to be by the Thames for the New Year’s fireworks in London, for example, all seem to prefer to take a video of the fireworks display rather than look up at the sky and watch the explosions of colour in real time. And if it isn’t our devices, then there is always something else vying for our time and attention; problems at work, disagreements between friends and family members. Try to leave all these distractions on the doorstep, leave your phone in another room, and immerse yourself fully in your present circumstances. Talk to your spouse, play with your children, cuddle your pet.
9) Journaling – If you’re having difficulty quietening those busy thoughts or dispelling some negative emotions, it may be worth trying journaling. All you need is a writing implement and some paper. Just allow yourself to freely write down all the thoughts and feelings taking up valuable brain space. Getting it down on paper allows you to assess it all more objectively. You can also use journaling as a tool to reflect on your core values, or remind yourself of all the things you love about your life.
10) Gratitude – Write down five things that you are grateful for each day. Your spouse, family, home, pets, financial security – your list will be personal to you. It is really hard to feel negative emotions when you are grateful for all that you have. It is difficult to expect or demand more from life when you realise how lucky you are already.
I hope this post helps you to simplify your life and rediscover your sense of joy! Leave me a comment to let me know your thoughts.
